About Living, Losing and Letting Go

       I had a miscarriage.. yeah u heard right.. i miscarried my baby last September.. my almost 10 weeks old baby..but i dont know how it happened..it just happened.. i was attending a course in Royale Chulan KL when i noticed i was bleeding.. to cut the story short, the baby was not meant to be with us.. me and my husband was hmmm.. not to say devastated but taken aback from what had happened to us.. according to Dr. Fatimah, about 20% of pregnancy will end up this way and there are various reason to it, and one of it is OGK Syndrome (as described by Dr. Fatimah).. She said the syndrome means Only God Knows Syndrome because science cannot explain it.. so me and my hby just accept it as it is.. eventho there are times i feel sad to think about the baby.. our baby..

       I have to go thru all d pantang thingy.. like all the 'u-can-eat-this, u-cant-eat-that, u-can-do-this, u-cant-do-that talk.. adeyhhh.. what to do.. have to belasah my hby's stokin bola.. he said i look like a stripper with that sock.. haha.. ade ke patut.. Speaking of my hby, im glad that i went through all this with him.. he was so supportive and charming.. he pampered me like a princess during confinement.. every night before sleep he will apply massage oil on my body and put my sock on to keep me warm.. he will comb my hair n tell me im beautiful.. Alhamdulillah.. night after we lose the baby, he hugged me and said 'Hby redha ape yg jadi dgn kite, hby x salahkan bb pn, mmg bkn rezeki kite, mungkin ade rezeki yg lebih baek yg Allah da tentukan untuk kite'.. wahhh.. dan2 rs nk menangis.. huuu..

        Alhamdulillah God has been so generous to grant us another baby after 2 month I miscarried. I can never thanked Him enough for His generosity. But the hole in our heart can never be replaced. No one child can be replaced by another. But by having another one can sooth the ache I'm having in my heart. Alhamdulillah currently i'm 5 month pregnant already.. another 4 month to go before i can hold my baby in my arms..May Allah ease the process n be kind enough to give us the chance to meet and raise our baby to his/her full potential.. Dear love, i cant wait to see u.. in the mean time, pls take care yeah!!